Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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