We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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