dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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