They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
