we have officially lost it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
