i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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