Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
