dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
