I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
