I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
