there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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