You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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