I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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