so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
