The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
