You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
