North Korea, Best Korea!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
