let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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