Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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