8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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