I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
