Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize