My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
