I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
