i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
