mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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