I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
