Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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