im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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