3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
