frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
