We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
