We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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