just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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