I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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