I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
