So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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