I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
