Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
