shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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