u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
