i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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