Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
