If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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