i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Success! We fucked roommates!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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