ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
