I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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