my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
