cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Shame - the story of my life.
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