Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
