I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
