I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
