no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
