Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
