all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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