where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
