It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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