I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
